India Journal: Facing the Fear
As the years have passed, it has become easier to find the humor, but as you can imagine, laughter was in short supply in the days leading up to my departure. With each step closer to my adventure tensions grew. Why would I sell my charming apartment? How much was it costing to store my belongings? Why would I take a leave from my job? To my friends, family and colleagues my decision seemed increasing out of character…and, I believe called into question decisions each individual had made in their own lives.
While uncomfortable, the conversations that ensued were the deepest, most real and honest exchanges I have ever had in my life. Nothing was left unsaid, as I sought to clarify for myself and others why I was going. I was stepping outside of my life to get quiet enough to hear myself; to take away the comfort and distraction that allowed me to avoid listening; to become a student of myself; to bring ‘me’ into my life. To learn who I wanted to become and to start building her.
The more I talked about it, the more things started to fall into place. I found cohorts in the most unlikely of places. (more…)
India Journal: You’re Killing Your Mother
My family is something of a toned down version of My Big Fat Greek Wedding (well, not really toned down), so I knew my decision to trade in my comfortable existence in New York for India was going be difficult to understand. True to form, after announcing my intent I received incredulous stares, curious whispers, strong admonitions, even outright criticism. There was speculation that love was the driving force in my decision making. Others claimed I was “looking for myself” or “having a life crisis.” But most were simply stumped, a break like this was outside the realm of possibility – Your doing what? Going Where? Why?
As news spread I found myself at family functions receiving uncomfortable glances. An aunt leaned close to my father and in a hushed voice asked, “Is she really going?” A cousin cornered my sister to inquire, “What is this really about?” Hardly anyone approached me directly, except my mother’s friend Ellen who dramatically announced, “You are killing your mother!”
I engaged in long conversations with family and friends, giving them time to ask questions and grow accustomed to my thinking, if not comfortable with my decision. In fact, a question my mother offered remains with me all these years later. “What if this isn’t the right road? What if it is a mistake?” My response (more…)
Who Knew?
Thank you for all the great responses to the Revolution Me! India Journal post last week! Your emails made me smile – and in some cases laugh out loud!
Many of you wrote to tell me that you had similar experiences, and some who have met me wrote in disbelief that I was ever quiet or introverted! I promise it is true! In fact, my high school Facebook friends would probably point out, my twin sister was infinitely more outgoing and my older sister far more adventurous!
As I wrote in Where No One Knows Your Name, years before India, I went to Italy. I went to learn more about my family heritage and to study International Law. I never expected the dramatic changes that would take root in my life or a new personality would emerge. I can still remember the first time words poured out of me in my new language. I was shocked both in how I sounded and what I had to say. Was that really me sounding so sure, so bold? Who knew?! It felt so powerful, so me – I knew it was the start of some big changes!
When I returned to New York from Italy it took time for friends, family and colleagues to process the changes…and even more after India! Each time I stepped outside of my life, I found it easier to focus on becoming me. It wasn’t always easy – it took work – and that’s exactly what I’ll share in the next India Journal!
Thank you again for sharing the India Journal with me – keep your eyes open for the next installment!
Banking on Balance
More workers are giving up those arrangements, or resisting asking about them in the first place, out of fear that doing so will make them appear less committed to their work and therefore more expendable.
Your Personal Revolution Take Action Plan
Back in December in the post Time to Plan Your Resolution Revolution I warned you this day would come. I know you skipped over my admonishment and went straight to the Three Step Resolution Revolution Plan. You were sure that this year would be different. Yet here it is, early February and Resolution Remorse has replaced your Revolutionary Zeal.
This week, to help you move a little further down the road, I am going to give you some tips on staging an effective REVOLUTION! Again, I’ll ask you to start with the Three Step Resolution Revolution Plan in the Time to Plan Your Resolution Revolution post.
In the first step I walked you through Taking Inventory of 2008 and in the second step I asked you to Balance the Budget by considering what you want to cultivate in your life throughout 2009. This time, as you move onto the third step Stage a Revolution creating your plan of action, I am going to ask you to dig a little deeper.
In step two you are left with a list of things you would like to cultivate in ‘09. This time, as you move into step three – creating a Take Action Plan – make sure your plan has the following four level of depth: (more…)
Life Lessons from Annie Leibovitz At Work
When I’m asked about my work, I try to explain that there is no mystery involved. It is work. But things happen all the time that are unexpected, uncontrolled, unexplainable, even magical. The work prepares you for that moment. Suddenly the clouds roll in and the soft light you longed for appears. — Annie Leibovitz, Annie Leibovitz At Work
Earlier this week at the Sixth & I Historic Synagogue Annie Leibovitz discussed her new book, Annie Leibovitz At Work
To Boost Your Energy, Start Noticing
My clients are the most energizing part of my work. They are people who want to shift or improve some part of their professional or personal lives, and know they have the power to create the change, even when the path may not be clear.
If you are want to create a change of your own, a great place to start looking for clues is energy – where we allocate it, what gives us a boost and what drains us. (more…)
Stress Busters, Just Walk this Way
A few weeks back we celebrated the summer solstice. For many, the day came and went without much notice. Others may taken the time to admire the beauty of the solstice moon hanging full and bright in the sky. Some held parties and events.
I recently learned a more traditional way to celebrate the official start of summer – a labyrinth walk.
A labyrinth is not a maze designed to block you, rather a circular path that leads you into the center and back out again. Labyrinths are an ancient tradition used for spiritual growth, centering and discernment. Labyrinth walks are sometimes called a walking meditation. There is no right way to walk a labyrinth…each person will meander, following their own path. (more…)
From Busyness to Basics!
My sister, Marianne has a very hectic life. She is the president of the FDNY EMS Retirees Association, advocating for the rights of September 11th first responders. Marianne is on the phone for hours with elected officials, doctors, lawyers, journalists, reporters and members.
This morning on the phone, I noticed something odd in her voice – she actually sounded relaxed! When I mentioned it, she told me, “Everything died and I realized what I didn’t need.” She went on to explain that in one day her car stalled, her GPS died, her computer went kaput and her Treo had a meltdown!
Her first reaction was emotional. How would she get in touch with people? How would she get back on track? What about all the documents she lost? (more…)
How Gaps Grow
A recent Revolution Me! post, Consciously Creating Commitments, dealt with aligning our commitments and our convictions to create lives that reflect our values from the inside out. More often than not, we fall out of alignment by dedicating our time, money and energy with little thought to the things that are most important, allowing gaps to grow between our commitments and our convictions.
A number of people wrote me to ask about why is it that we can envision the lives we want – but somehow, it remains just out of reach? Why it is so hard to bridge the gap between what we want and where we are now?
There are many reasons inertia holds us to the status quo, the most common deal with the past. Do you see yourself in any of the categories below?
