A Day of Reflection
I, like many others, had hours to consider my life as I walked home through Manhattan on September 11, 2001. Each year on this day, I recall the fear, heartache and confusion as the day unfolded. I remember the fog we walked through for days, weeks and months. And I reflect on the eventual resolve that formed to live life more fully, more actively and with greater integrity, presence and purpose.
The entire day was so unfathomable and the resulting wound so profound that it seemed impossible to resume life as we had been living. I painfully realized I was living life on autopilot, with an amorphous sense of the woman I wanted to be in my life, with my family and in my community. I had allowed myself to become trapped in the daily inertia of a comfortable life.
Six years ago, I resolved that I would no longer live on autopilot. I resolved to actively create a life that truly reflects my values. I resolved to consciously create the woman I want to be each day. I resolved to build my life with a greater sense of purpose.
There are still days when that comfort creeps in an attempt to lull me back to inertia – and that is when the vivid events that form the foundation of my resolve remind me of the magnitude of this endeavor – reclaiming my life.
And of course, each year, on this day, I reflect and renew my resolve, knowing it is not enough to simply remember – I must actively and purposefully create this life each day.
What Do I Want To Do
What do I want to do with my life? The mere question gives rise to tremendous excitement, anxiety, inspiration, confusion, elation and depression!
The excitement, inspiration and elation come from the idea of what is possible and the opportunity to have exactly what we want. And the anxiety, confusion and depression come from the fear of making the wrong choice from the dizzying array of options before us.
How is it possible to NOT know what we WANT!
In reality, it isn’t all that unusual to not know what we want to do with our lives. We can review our skills, our experiences, where we have expertise or an established identity – however, knowing what we want is not about simply figuring out what we can do or what is possible.
In fact, determining what we want has little to do with what we have done, rather it is something that engages our passions and our minds. And, it is something that can change we get older!
Where to start? (more…)
