What to Do When You Hit a Wall
Anyone who has worked with me or taken one of my seminars has heard me talk about hitting the wall.
So often, when we face a difficult decision or obstacle we become fixated and it begins to feel like we are hitting our head on a brick wall over and over and over again. Soon, the wall becomes a habit we don’t notice that a few feet away from our spot on the wall there is a way out – a door, a window or a gap – perhaps even all three!! And we don’t even consider the fact that we might be strong enough to go over the wall! In fact, the only thing we notice is the wall- our obstacle, the problem.
To see the opportunities around us, we have to open our eyes, look around, ask a few questions, try a few options, perhaps take a few steps in a new direction. We have to face our fear, move beyond our fixed place on the wall, and rewrite our stories about what is possible.
Today, I suggest you get up on the other side of the bed, wear something bold, go to work via new route, rearrange your desk, create a new view, answer the phone with a different greeting, invite someone new to lunch, ring up that person you have been meaning to get to know, sign up for a lecture or class, create a new playlist on your iPod, greet people in an unexpected way, and pause to see what lies beyond the spot on the wall that has been giving you a headache.
Each day is an opportunity to see possibility, recognize opportunity, move beyond the spot on the wall and start down a new road.
Today is a great day to open your eyes and take a good look around!
Tim Russert: A Legacy of Joy
Thinking back over all of the Sunday mornings and marathon Tuesday evenings, Tim Russert’s gleeful smile stands out above all. It has always been clear that Russert was joyfully engaged in his life and his work. The man behind the desk delighted in the nuances of Washington politics and its players.
This evening, as his colleagues pay tribute we learned about the man and his life. We learned that Tim’s career with Daniel Patrick Moynihan began as a volunteer. He was surround by those with political pedigrees and deeper connections, yet it was Tim who stood out. Later at NBC, he had to be coaxed to make the move in front of the camera, joking that he had a face made for radio. Yet he quickly established himself as a reporter with integrity, a moderator with a unique command of the facts, and an educator with respect for his audience. His success was greater than his knowledge or who he knew. (more…)
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
The moment the horns blow, we recognize the song instantly. By the time Aretha hits the chorus, we are on our feet, eyes closed, hips swaying and we are belting it out along with her R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
Listen to Aretha Franklin belt it out!
The passion Aretha brings to the song moves something in each of us. In one way or another, we each have wanted to stand up and claim the respect we deserve.
We think of respect in terms of reverence, honor, admiration, even deference. However, the word respect comes from the Latin, respicere – to look at, in essence, Respect is the ability to see a person as he is, to be aware of his individuality.
With this understanding, respect takes on a whole new spin — in the words of Erich Fromm, respect is “the concern that the other person should grow and unfold as he is.”
What powerful a shift – seeing ourselves (and each other) as we are, honoring our individuality and that which already resides within – rather than seeking to conform with an image of success, power, professionalism, happiness, etc. (more…)
Try on a New Trait
During last week’s Compass Point Career Shaping Networking event I introduced the idea of trying on a new trait. The idea is that if there is a trait you admire in a public figure, colleague, friend, family member, or even of a younger you – you can try it on for size and see how it fits.
For example, you have a friend who is bold and fearless; your Aunt Sally commanded attention as soon as she walked in a room; you admire the poise and intelligence of a tv personality or you simply long for the joy of your younger days! Select a person with a trait you admire and would love to possess, and during the next week, take some time to take it out for a test drive. At first, you will have to consciously look for opportunities in your daily life and you may even have to act a bit…but after awhile you should (if it is a good fit) that you are actually growing into it!
This weekend I had the chance to try it out myself while visiting with friends by the water. We were trying to keep cool, sitting out on her pier and sharing stories and sipping refreshing drinks 
When that proved futile, one at a time, my friends plunged into the water. I, dressed in a cute new summer skirt, was wholly unprepared for this maneuver. In addition, I am not much of a swimmer. While I grew up on the water and love being at the beach, a near drowning experience as a child (which we won’t go into here to protect the guilty), remains ever present.
Oddly, however, something happened moments after my friends hit the water. I thought of someone I greatly admire, who lives life to the fullest…and without another second hesitation, I joyfully jumped in fully dressed! I was proud of myself for letting go and embracing a new trait! And if you were on the east coast this weekend, you know it was a really good time to decide to go jump in a lake!
This week pick a person and try on a new trait, you may be surprised at how well it fits!
Breaking Free from a Foundation of Fear
Last week’s post Making Career Decisions, led to some great conversations with friends and colleagues about the foundation of fear. My sister reminded me of the fearlessness and joy we exhibit as children. She asked me to think back to the winter when five year-old kids were zipping by on the ski slopes without a hint of fear or doubt. We were like that once (although not on the slopes!). What happened to that carefree attitude? When did fear supplant our innate curiosity and tenacity? Is it possible to break free from such a firm foundation of fear? I believe the answer to the last question is a resounding ‘yes!’
When we are young, everyone around us encourages our exploration. They goad us to smile, make silly noises, find our feet, crawl, walk, run and eventually – ski. Our efforts are encouraged, applauded and celebrated. Our failures are brushed off – we are distracted from the minor ones (bumps and falls) and rewarded with kisses and cuddles as a result of the more serious. (more…)
A New Perspective
This week I found myself looking back at a new reflection…
After sending ten inches of hair to Locks of Love (more…)
