India Journal: You’re Killing Your Mother
My family is something of a toned down version of My Big Fat Greek Wedding (well, not really toned down), so I knew my decision to trade in my comfortable existence in New York for India was going be difficult to understand. True to form, after announcing my intent I received incredulous stares, curious whispers, strong admonitions, even outright criticism. There was speculation that love was the driving force in my decision making. Others claimed I was “looking for myself” or “having a life crisis.” But most were simply stumped, a break like this was outside the realm of possibility – Your doing what? Going Where? Why?
As news spread I found myself at family functions receiving uncomfortable glances. An aunt leaned close to my father and in a hushed voice asked, “Is she really going?” A cousin cornered my sister to inquire, “What is this really about?” Hardly anyone approached me directly, except my mother’s friend Ellen who dramatically announced, “You are killing your mother!”
I engaged in long conversations with family and friends, giving them time to ask questions and grow accustomed to my thinking, if not comfortable with my decision. In fact, a question my mother offered remains with me all these years later. “What if this isn’t the right road? What if it is a mistake?” My response (more…)
India Journal: Don’t Worry, Be Happy
Because of our routines we forget that life is an ongoing adventure. ~Maya Angelou
In the first installment of India Journal, Where No One Knows Your Name, I mentioned the roles we play in life. By roles, I refer to more than the traditional – daughter, mother, father, executive, significant other. In each of our roles, there is a thread – a pattern of behavior we have honed over years. These behaviors may be comfortable, but often have little bearing on the person we are presently, rather they are a legacy from other stages of our lives.
When I decided to take my sabbatical to India I was confronting my legacy roles. While my life looked great from the outside, I felt less than fulfilled. Without a clear new direction, I continue on my same path.
Then one day as I arrived in LA for a meeting my Blackberry went into overdrive, screaming urgent messages. I hung up a frantic call and was furiously scanning incoming messages when my driver, calm as can be, turned around and said, “Miss, I don’t mean to overstep, but whatever is going on really isn’t worth it.”
In a different phase in my life, being called upon in time of crisis might have made me feel important (even if frustrated), but in this moment it was clear my driver was right. On the ride to the hotel, I found my resolve. Something had to change. The time had come. I was ready.
After the meeting, (more…)
