India Journal: You’re Killing Your Mother
My family is something of a toned down version of My Big Fat Greek Wedding (well, not really toned down), so I knew my decision to trade in my comfortable existence in New York for India was going be difficult to understand. True to form, after announcing my intent I received incredulous stares, curious whispers, strong admonitions, even outright criticism. There was speculation that love was the driving force in my decision making. Others claimed I was “looking for myself” or “having a life crisis.” But most were simply stumped, a break like this was outside the realm of possibility – Your doing what? Going Where? Why?
As news spread I found myself at family functions receiving uncomfortable glances. An aunt leaned close to my father and in a hushed voice asked, “Is she really going?” A cousin cornered my sister to inquire, “What is this really about?” Hardly anyone approached me directly, except my mother’s friend Ellen who dramatically announced, “You are killing your mother!”
I engaged in long conversations with family and friends, giving them time to ask questions and grow accustomed to my thinking, if not comfortable with my decision. In fact, a question my mother offered remains with me all these years later. “What if this isn’t the right road? What if it is a mistake?” My response to her has turned into a mantra of sorts, it is quite simply this - I don’t believe in wrong roads. There are no wrong roads, only the road you are on and what you are doing on it. Taking a step in a new direction, exploring an unknown path is a choice. The fact that it is a difficult choice makes the adventure even sweeter.
There was something powerful about recognizing that the life I was living, while comfortable, was not a true reflection of who I was or wanted to be in my life…in the world. My adventure was not about escaping or finding myself, rather the point was to become a student of myself. I wanted to strip away the societal or familial conditioning that had shaped my ideas about success and life.
By looking beneath the surface, peeling back the layers I started to become me in my life. And in the end, most of my family and friends found joy following my adventure. It was challenging for everyone in a different way – but we all survived – even my mother! And I would like to think that my adventure gave some people around me an opportunity to explore their own lives through a new lens.
If you liked this post you might enjoy Becoming Yourself.
