Vibrant, Vital and Valued
I recently picked up The Time Paradox by Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd. It has been an fascinating read that builds nicely on the theme of the last India Journal: We’re Not In Kansas Anymore and explores our attitudes about time.
Dr. Zimbardo is well-known for the infamous Stamford Prison experiment in the early 70s, which investigated the power that social situations have in influencing behavior of ordinary people. Of the experiment, Zimbardo says:
…even though the student-prisoners knew they would be part of this experiment for only a limited time, they didn’t behave that way. They behaved as if they were trapped. Although the prisoners cold have escaped their dismal daily grind by sharing with other prisoners their past identities and future hopes for when the experiment would be over, they rarely did so. …these mock prisoners had quickly imprisoned themselves in despair by focusing on very recent negative experiences of only days in a mock prison.
Dr. Boyd joined Dr. Zimbardo in ‘94 and together the duo has expanded our understanding of time perspective and its power to influence how we navigate our lives. In a part of the book that discusses Making Time Matter, they write:
Like success and happiness, our purpose exists in the present, and we constantly strive toward the future to maintain it. What it is for which we strive is up to each of us. The important thing is that we strive for something. Societal expectations matter little; personal expectations matter tremendously.
Discussing career and business fluctuations with clients, I am abundantly aware of how easily we become imprisoned by despair by focusing on recent negative circumstances. Our past identities and future aspirations fade, giving center stage to a diminished sense of self. In Zimbardo’s experiment participants quickly assumed the role of ‘prisoners’ regardless of the power, strength and potential they lived only days before. Today with layoffs, business failure, economic pressures and the like, it isn’t surprising that many people are temporarily blinded.
Dr. Zimbardo’s experiment shines a light on the key to breaking through the identity crisis – social connection. Sharing our past experiences, successes, dreams, aspirations and passions not only give others a more accurate context to receive us, but it also serves to shake us awake from our temporary slumber.
Zimbardo and Boyd offer:
You can choose how you reconstruct the past, interpret the present and construe the future. Give yourself permission to enjoy the present and to pursue happiness in the future.
Too often we choose to relive the most painful moments of our lives and to give them meanings that leave us feeling hopeless, trapped, and desperate. The beauty of Time Perspective is that it affords us a new lens from which to reclaim the past, remember ourselves and begin walking toward our futures vibrant, vital and valued!
To shake yourself free when you are feeling overwhelmed by your circumstances or lose a sense of your strength, purposefully put yourself in situations where the vibrant and vital person you value is allowed to shine. Share stories about the past that fill you with pride. Indulge in flights of fancy for the future, see yourself soaring to new heights – dream BIG – and share that too! You never know, the person your share with might just need a pick me up too!
Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
