Breaking Free from a Foundation of Fear
Last week’s post Making Career Decisions, led to some great conversations with friends and colleagues about the foundation of fear. My sister reminded me of the fearlessness and joy we exhibit as children. She asked me to think back to the winter when five year-old kids were zipping by on the ski slopes without a hint of fear or doubt. We were like that once (although not on the slopes!). What happened to that carefree attitude? When did fear supplant our innate curiosity and tenacity? Is it possible to break free from such a firm foundation of fear? I believe the answer to the last question is a resounding ‘yes!’
When we are young, everyone around us encourages our exploration. They goad us to smile, make silly noises, find our feet, crawl, walk, run and eventually – ski. Our efforts are encouraged, applauded and celebrated. Our failures are brushed off – we are distracted from the minor ones (bumps and falls) and rewarded with kisses and cuddles as a result of the more serious.
But then, without warning, our explorations of the world around us starts to elicit new responses. Fear, anxiety, even anger. We are admonished regularly, lectured on the possible pitfalls, and lulled into finding the safest route or at the very least avoiding uncertainty and risk.
Creating a life that reflects who you really are often requires you to venture into the unknown…and I may as well say it, not always succeeding. It is truly amazing the lengths we will go to avoid failing. But if we again, think back to the days of our childhood, success often came after many attempts. We suffered bumps and bruises – figuratively and literally – and we picked ourselves up and tried again.
Think back to the video games we played – PacMan, Donkey Kong, Space Invaders – we started on Level One and worked our way up. We played and played and played until we broke the code. We surveyed the screen, figured out what worked and moved ahead. And when our guy died, we reset the game, started over again with the lessons learned. Now we learned the best route, when to jump, how to time our shots – we learned how to win.
The next time fear grips you, remember you can break free of the foundation of fear, you can learn how to succeed.
Only those who will risk going to far can possibly find out how far one can go. — T.S. Eliot
